Don’t confuse a chicken with an Ibis. The Ibis, a medium sized wading bird is also known as a bin chicken. The difference between the two is that a chicken won’t eat an Ibis but an Ibis will eat chicken. One of the few things that they have in common is that an Ibis tastes like chicken and so do chickens.

Have you ever thought about how many chickens there are in the world? I’m aware of some loose ones right here in River City. People can have chickens as pets or food, whichever they like. Just don’t set them free (Or give them a reason to leave) because they find the cat food dishes for the outside cats around town and when a chicken steals from a cat there’s going to be some trouble. Cats, although fewer in number, are organized and they’ve been talking among themselves about the chicken ‘problem’ but as smart as they are, cats do not outnumber chickens.

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Applied Grammar

Chicken Running Around Miami Springs Circle

There are more chickens than people. The intelligent fowl are aware of this fact and they’re just waiting for the right time to attack and take over. I’m not an alarmist but they outnumber us by about 4 to 1 and you know how hard they are to catch. The number of chickens worldwide has more than doubled since 1990. In 2018, there were almost 24 billion chickens in the world. If we think we’re in danger, the key here is to eat more chicken.

One of the reasons for the jump in chicken population is the fact that we’re treating them too well, giving them room to roam, letting them go to the movies at night and giving them gourmet feed. At least we’re not testing them!

Stop animal testing. It’s wrong. They don’t have thumbs and it’s too difficult for them to pick up a number 2 pencil and fill in the boxes on a test let alone peck the correct keys on a computer. Side note: if your chicken can do that, there’s a good living to be made if you take it on tour.

Can they take an oral test? Yes, but we don’t understand their language and need to consult a chicken whisperer for any clue. The whisperers don’t know either, but we don’t know that they don’t know and they’re not telling. It’s a vicious circle and obviously, a great gig. Once we were aware of a dog whisperer, the practice spread to other animals.

Kidding around and asking your cat the sum of two numbers and expecting them to answer by pawing your lap might get a rise from your dinner guests, but the cat will go back to its private space and mark that transgression down in a book. Yes, they’re that smart.

Testing upsets the animals and then you might have to schedule a make-up test. Further testing for cats and dogs might work but if they’re birds, they may be in the middle of a migration. How do you stop a flock and turn them back for the sake of one stupid bird making an ‘F’. They’re gonna be angry. The answer, of course, is extending the grading down to a ‘G’ that way an ‘F’ doesn’t mean fail. Works for kids too.

Also I’d rather be friends with an animal than some humans I know. An animal won’t borrow the car and bring it back with an empty gas tank. An animal won’t wake you up in the middle of the night and tell you you’re snoring.

The animals don’t like testing because it’s been reported that when they speak among them-selves they complain about getting the short end of the evolutionary scale. This works for all animals except for the gorillas. They live in the edges and clearings of tropical rain forests and swamps in a perfect life because they don’t need an internet connection to be happy.

Just as they have similar anatomy to humans, like opposable thumbs, they also have similar sensory experiences of hearing, taste, sight, smell and touch and the ability to fling their feces with the accuracy of a guided missile.  Chickens can’t.

 

 

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