Weddings today have become extravagant affairs which cost the bride and groom loads of money. The question is, how can they plan on throwing the gala of a lifetime and be able to pay for it?
This calls for a ‘commercially filled wedding’. Market every aspect of the great day as a commercial enterprise would do and sell off every part of the wedding day to a variety of sponsors. Here are a few ideas.
The groom knew he’d be a little nervous and wanted to wear a nametag that said, “Ban roll On, when you can’t let ‘em see you sweat’ He was talked out of that, but we were able to get a copy of the proposed vows.
Our bride was a little desperate to enter into the marriage vows, having just broken up with an optometrist. She dropped him because it was annoying that when they would get intimate, he would say, “Is it better like this…..or better like this? Better like this? Or like this?
The officiant led the ceremony, and began with:
“Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to join in wedded bliss this man and this woman. This joining is sponsored in part by Elmer’s Glue who says, “When you’ve made up your mind to stick together, stick with Elmer’s”
But let me remind all in attendance that the wedding is a very solemn occasion which is entered into after two people, who have met through our Single No More program call 305 555-1655 to join) have decided to spend their lives together in Holy Matrimony. We welcome them from the ‘Game of Phones’ community singles group into our extended outreach program whose award winning preschool is now accepting applications for its kindergarten class. One must plan early for the top schools!
These two precious souls have come together at this joyous occasion before family and friends, to pledge their lives to one another. And when you need that same feeling call Jim and Betty’s Party Rental for all your party needs. Google us under local party supplies.
Yes, as you travel through life together don’t forget to call on your friends here and at Trade Circle Travel. We may be local but we can send you across the country with package tours starting at the low price of 499.95 per person double occupancy.
And then the Officiant would announce a commercial break.
“We’ll be right back to see them pronounced husband and wife after these messages from our additional sponsors. At this point in the wedding guests have the opportunity to scan their phones for the latest blah blah.
You can visualize the Goodyear Blimp aerial shot of the Curtiss Mansion halfway through the event dropping flowers on the guests. Thank goodness they didn’t drop tires!
The guests dance the night away while Dura Cell sponsors the Bunny Hop and Oneida Kitchen Utensils takes care of the cake cutting. The open bar is sponsored by Pfizer and caffeine.
“When will I get grandchildren?” is the question from the proud grandparents and the answer comes from the ‘Lovin’ Oven’ Fertility Clinic who sponsored the honeymoon!
It almost didn’t happen, this marriage of commerce and Love. Needless to say, our wedding couple stuck together, and their new children Chevrolayla and Wrigley should grow to love their names over time.
