Track your pizza all the way to delivery and more…..
Technology tells us whatever we want to know whenever we want to know it in spite of the fact that too much info can be overwhelming! This includes our pizza delivery. GPS tracking enables your pizza makers to let you know what’s happening with your order ‘right now and every moment.’ Let’s track that order as it happens in real time.
5:55PM “Hello, I’d like a pizza delivery.”
“Yes sir, we know who you are, where you live and your grades from high school. here’s your tracking number.”
5:58PM Johnny (Not his real name) walks in the back door from his smoke break and takes the pepperoni out of its container which will later be flung tastefully onto the pie.
6PM Your pizza dough is taken from the ‘Use me first’ tray and thrown in the air as close to the refrigerator ceiling as it can get in a kind of game ‘Johnny’ plays as he walks out of the walk-in.
6:02PM ‘Johnny’ blows the excess powder from the condiment table to ‘clear it off.’ (Not as bad as when the snotty birthday child carelessly blows out the candles on a cake which any informed person would not touch with a ten-foot pole)
6:03PM In a demonstration of multi-tasking, your dough is flattened as ‘Johnny’ takes a call from his girlfriend with his free hand. If he’s good at social media, he can doom scroll the latest news and reply to a post by the time your pizza is as flat as his wages.
6:04PM cheese, sauce and pepperoni are added as it goes in the oven.
6:10 It comes out, gets packaged and on its way.
6:20 the first hot bite is taken, chewed and mixed with some Lite Beer. With Radio Frequency Identification, (RFID) which are small, battery-less microchips that can be attached to consumer goods, cattle, vehicles and other objects to track their movements, we can now keep tracking that pizza through your entire system.
6:21:30 With that first bite, enzymes in your saliva break down the carbohydrates in the bread.
6:21:50 As you swallow, the epiglottis, a flexible flap over the trachea closes and allows the pizza to enter the stomach where it will stay about 20 minutes. The RFID sees your insides and, with an extra fee to the pizzeria, can send some vital information directly to your doctor’s cell phone.
6:25 The small intestine accepts the load and will then tell you if the ingredients are fresh or have been on ‘Johnny’s’ prep table all day long. Johnny goes out back for another smoke break.
7PM Your doctor’s office calls and asks if you realize you shouldn’t be eating pepperoni because your blood pressure is now a little too high.
They add this bit of RFID technology to the cheesy crust, and you’ll never find it unless that last tough bit of crust beeps.
