‘Chicken of the trees’, a clever portrayal of iguana meat is not a comedic description by any means. Before we get hinky about eating what has fallen to the almost frozen ground around here, let’s step back and see how this lean, high protein meat can be utilized for a scrumptious meal in a number of ways. Or not!
First of all, you won’t see it next to the prepared chicken or meats at the local Milam’s. An ‘un-prepared’ iguana, sitting on a shelf like it’s ready to scarf what’s next to it, doesn’t look as good, sitting next to the ‘Butcher’s Cut Certified Angus Beef®.
In addition, the USDA standards ‘Prime, Choice or Select’ cannot apply to a critter that has fallen onto a dirty street. There’s no classification for that and never will be. They know better! As of 2024, the USDA label “Product of USA” should not apply, because they arrived through the pet trade and in unintended cargo shipments from the Caribbean as stowaways. After arriving, some became too large or unruly as pets and were turned loose beginning in the 1960’s right here in Miami. They had no natural predators except the occasional ’64 Chevy.
Note to self: a pet iguana will not listen to a command, sit up and beg, or fetch anything except plants to eat so those prize hibiscus or roses in your yard is a tasty treat.
When they fall from a tree, they’re not dead, but in a stupor much like a person with time on their hands on TikTok or Youtube. Not too high on the predator list, they can be eaten by a number of other pests like raccoons, snakes and alligators, so the ones left are survivors and deserve a little respect.
Iguanas hate strong pungent scents like oregano, garlic and Tom Ford Ombre Leather or Dior Sauvage Elixer that could linger long after your great aunt has left the room.
Although Florida iguana tacos could be a change from the regular lunch fare, cleaning them is akin to having a bad dream while awake.
Have enough of them been caught to diminish the population around here so they don’t come around that often to do their business in or on the edge of your pool? I hope so, but this cold weather is not the answer!
