Living in the middle of the ‘Sue’ nation here in South Florida, we often read of lawsuits that have no business clogging up a court docket. I’m sure you’ve heard of the person suing all the fast-food restaurants because he started gaining too much weight. He said they were to blame. Look in the mirror and just say no! No one twisted your arm and forced your car into the drive through lane. There was nothing in the secret sauce that drew you back day after day.
Next thing we’ll see are people suing the television networks for the upcoming season of reworked reality shows. We went from I Love Lucy to Naked and Afraid. Not my reality! We’re fascinated by these shows the same way we slow down for an accident off the road; it’s the gory details.
We should shut the tube off occasionally and talk to a family member, not hoot at some scripted dysfunctional scene. But seriously, I think television viewers have a heck of a class action suit here with the airing of a new show, ‘Funnier Funniest Home Videos’ They mean to say that it’s even funnier, if that’s possible, than Funniest Home Videos; maybe even funnier than the ‘best of’ Funniest Home Videos.
What could be funnier than a man accidentally jumping into the netting of a trampoline? Did you laugh out loud when you saw that? Ouch! Someone else’s problems are our nightly serving of ‘better you than me’.
Years ago, I fell right into their little trap. You see, when I watched Funniest Home Videos, I thought they were chosen because they were the funniest. But no, along comes a funnier version, and does that mean they were holding back on us? We couldn’t handle the funny? If word got out that these weren’t really the funniest, would we still have watched? No! They knew that!
For ten years or so we never thought home videos could get funnier. They said it. We believed ‘em. These were the funniest!
When the director’s cut is released will we see unseen footage that’s even funnier?
Announcer: “Now with even funnier footage of funnier than the funniest home videos; let’s watch this baby make a face!”
This might be the start of a trend, but what could be deadlier than the world’s most deadly car chases? Deadlier deadliest car chases?
When wild animals attack what will we see when wilder than the wildest animals attack. How wild can they get? Just don’t feed them for a couple of days and crank up the camera. They feed us this pap, but they know we can change the channel instantly because our attention span is shorter than an inchworm’s stride.
What’s in store for the television of the future? We’ll have Truer True Hollywood stories. Twinnier Twin peaks? Greener Green Acres. When does it all end?
As for the reality shows, are they really real? On survivor, we know there’s a camera crew right there in the desert, on the mountain or on the island. You get the feeling there’s an Outback restaurant over the next hill. How do those so-called survivors really survive? Probably out there, they don’t have to watch themselves.
