People who needed an operation with medical coverage from medical care giant Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield, didn’t want to wake up in the middle of a cholecystectomy with a doctor holding their bladder in his/her hands. “Doctor, I’m awake, is it over?” What happened? Did the anesthesia run out? It may have.
Blue Cross Blue Shield was planning to set a time limit for anesthesia coverage during surgeries and procedures and proposed a change in the way they wanted to pay for the treatment for patients undergoing an operation.
The new medical plan included providing a large cup of Café Cubano (Cuban speed) for each doctor prior to an operation to hurry them up. In this fast-paced world if the operation is lasting too long, and the first cup has been drunk, a medically trained barista will be on hand to replenish it. “I’m sorry, doctor, did you want me to pass you a hemostat or more sugar? You don’t want a patient waking up and complaining “Hey, where’s my liver”?
Doctors started using ether in the 19th century to anesthetize the patient during operations because the screaming was distracting.
We all want to remain as healthy as we can, but when civilization intervenes to screw things up, we must take action. Being free of germs is the ideal, but with all the hugging and kissing this holiday season, how do we accomplish that?
The common fist bump worked well in the past, but we’re into a whole new intensity of germs who don’t want to die that easily. They’ve become immune to all the regular drugs, and I discovered alcohol is the next best treatment. Not rubbing; drinking. Just enough to not care, but not nearly so much as to get sloppy.
History has now evolved into a way to meet without pressing dirty flesh which had its roots in the cave person era when it started out as a simple clubbing. This had to be where the term good old boys club originated. Cave people were sick and tired of going to a funeral immediately after meeting their new neighbors and the ‘handshake’ was born.
According to Larry Froman, Chief of Bacteriology at the Froman Institute for the Study of Bugs and Germs; “Disease carrying germs cannot get a foothold on the knuckle and slide off onto the floor with a barely audible scream” he said, “If you have hairy knuckles and love good health, wash thoroughly and please, shave them.”
Here’s how it works for germ-a-phobes. When you get ready to fist bump someone, you have already implied you’re going to bump because your hand and arm have almost automatically shifted into the I’m gonna bump you now position. Don’t bump but come close and bump the air between you. You both know you wanted to bump, but that just isn’t in the cards today. It was the intent that’s keeping you healthy and humanly connected. With a boat-load of various hand and arm greetings, the simple air-bump gives all the openness of a friendly greeting with none of the germ laden actual skin on skin contact. Better than a nod from across the street, an air bump establishes your humanity with an absolute minimum of germs jumping all over you. Yes, they jump.
