‘Peabody’s Improbable History’ was a segment of the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon series from the early 1960’s. Peabody, the dog, would say, “Sherman, set the Way-Back machine for the spring of 1425 and let’s see what they did to the lawyers back then”. Peabody, the intelligent time traveling dog and Sherman, his pet boy, traveled through ‘history’ and during these jaunts, would help make events ‘come out right’.
We know what the past is, although we have as yet failed to learn from it, so let’s all travel just 30 years into the future and see what life in Florida looks like! We don’t need no stinkin’ ‘Way-Back Machine’!
oooooOOOOOOOOOooooooo. Wow, here we are in Floribia, and just like in the ‘Terminator’ movies, the electro-bionic voting machines rebelled one day and took over. They also said, “Remember the hanging chads from the 2000 election, yeah, we did that!”
Let’s look at the headlines or simply tap the side of your head for the implanted computer to boot up. I know; sometimes it gives you a little shock as if to say, I’m here and I’m ready to bestow ‘likes’ or whatever it is that turns us on in the future. If you get too many shocks, change out the battery.
I-95 has been at a standstill for 12 years now. The road started to back up with stopped vehicles from Key West to Orlando due to the influx of the ‘climate change crowd’ and their tales of 20-foot snow drifts as far south as Gainesville. It made Woodstock traffic look like a picnic.
The digital visual news implants in our wrists tell us that I-95 will be widened to 24 lanes each way once the cement, which has been poured over the stalled cars, dries.
This was accomplished successfully on SR836 which has been cemented over for 10 years now. It was widened to 18 lanes each way due to increased traffic from the movement of the Urban Development Boundary which is now a floating buoy West of Naples, Florida.
In local news: The last remaining green space in South Florida was saved as a deal was struck with the 64 member Tri-County high Commission to leave existing dog parks alone. This includes some moss which miraculously grows on the North side of the last remaining Royal Poinciana tree. As a result, any ‘Tree City’ designations have been downgraded once again from ‘Shrub Town’ status to ‘Potted Plant-ville’ because that’s the only thing that can fit or grow anymore with the little sunlight that filters in between the buildings. With no trees to roost in, the seasonal flocks of birds have left, giving some relief from condo balcony pigeon cleaning.
Have we over-built? Yes, but residents are thankful, because they are shielded from hurricane winds which cannot get through the canyon wall of condos.
In the local real estate section, the median price of a 300 square foot 1 bedroom apartment is now 8.5 million dollars. Buyers feel this is still a great bargain, even with interest rates hovering around 32%. Welcome to a possible future!
