Much of what we eat is loaded with preservatives. BHT (Butylated Hydroxytoluene) is a common additive used to prevent spoilage. That’s why potato chips, breakfast cereals, chewing gum and other high fat consumables enjoy a longer shelf life. I believe they add to our shelf life as well which is why baby boomers look better for our age than at any other time in history. We’ve been preserved! It was all the snacking!

Look at a photograph of a 30 something from out west in the mid 1800’s and they look 60. Maybe it was the early photography. They were afraid to smile for the camera, it was big and foreboding. Would we, as accustomed to our modern lives as we are, have survived back then?

Until electricity was invented, the horse was our main form of transportation and there were no hair stylists on the frontier. It was spartan. A picture of Wild Bill Cody showed him with his long flowing hair, but no self-respecting cowboy would let someone touch their hair. Nobody laughed at him; he was like a hippy with six shooters. He should have had a stylist. He should have engaged the first official hairdresser of the French court, Legros de Rumigny who published his book Art de la Coiffure des Dames. Oh, the pomp, Oh, the circumstance!

People looked older back then even when they were young. It was a rough life; no air conditioning, no talcum powder. The closest thing to a beauty parlor on the plains was when the cook straightened your hair with goose grease. If the settlers found a mineral spring on the open trail, they bathed in it, then they drank from it.

Four-wheel drive on a Conestoga wagon? They were lucky to have 4 working wheels! Attempting a repair on the open plains would be as difficult as ripping an I-Phone from the hands of Cristiano Ronaldo, who, with over 600 million followers is also captain of the Portuguese national soccer team. He could have had his multitude of followers hand carry him across the country!

If they had duct tape and WD 40 back then, the West would have been won a little sooner. I can hear the wagon-master going over the ‘to do’ list with his sidekick/cowpoke prior to the trek across country. “Let’s see, have Cookie check the chuck wagon for our supply of sorghum molasses, flour, sugar, coffee and that new Beano stuff. That Beanos gonna help around the campfire scene unless Mel Brooks is directing.”

(Do you remember the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles? That wasn’t a spoof, that was real life. Gabby Hayes, famous cowboy sidekick, would say “Yer dern tootin”)

“Call the horse rental agency and see if we can get out of some of those extra fees like the corral facility fee, Wild West surcharge, Indian tax, and the ‘young rider’ add on charge. (This is probably when all that ‘add-on’ stuff started.) Oh, and see if my service with the Cavalry is good for an upgrade to the Palomino models.” Yes, it took a long time to trek across the country but at least there were no toll roads.

It’s not much different today because by the time we get to an airport, check in, go through airport security with all the other travelers who have TSA pre-check, Global entry, Nexus and have a cousin who works the line, stand behind a senior who has to take their shoes and belt off, pants fall down, looks in every pocket for a ticket, calls to their spouse who chose a different line, removes keys, tissues, wallets, cell phones,  bulky jewelry, any liquids you forgot to show and by that time forgets why they came to an airport in the first place. You’ve now wasted the better portion of your travel day when a hundred and fifty years ago you could have been halfway to Omaha and no one kicked your seat!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here