Commercials have invaded our lives like a swarm of hungry ants going after a dropped hunk of tiramisu. You call a business and the person who answers gives you the history of the world with a short commercial before you can say a word. “Hello, Freebish Corporation specializing in truncating speech patterns for the verbose elderly who can’t get their point across in a timely manner, this is Melanie speaking, how may I direct your call today?”
“Uh hello I uh forgot why I called. I’ll call back when I can remember my question”.
The Florida Marlin’s want to attract new demographics to their ballpark but are not selling minority ownership shares in their team, so besides winning, how do they increase revenue? When there’s a chance to make money, everything is on the table. Sponsorship will rear its commercial head and leap into every naming opportunity even if it’s silly. For example, in the world of commercial product placement, listen to these announcements at a recent Florida Marlin’s home game.
(Stadium announcer) ”Welcome back from the Florida Marlin’s Bongo’s Cuban café General Mills Master-Card worldwide 7th inning stretch at Loan Depot Park. Your 7th Inning stretch sponsored by the Medicare Friendly doctors at the 7th inning stretch-mark clinic and Bob’s Yoga Academy ‘when you need a friendly stretching’.
It’s the bottom of the FedEx trucking and Logistics 8th inning and while we wait for Josh Bell to come to the plate, we want to remind you that his walk to the plate is brought to you by Nike. Shop Nike for all your sports gear. Bell grabs the Exxon Mobil rosin bag as he steps up to the plate and takes a couple of Tyson Foods cuts with his Louisville Slugger and gets a good look at the pitcher. That first look is brought to you by Sunglass Hut, ‘Go polarized!’ As Bell spits on the ground, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reminds you to please, cough into your sleeve or a handkerchief. Tonight, the Marlins are playing the Philadelphia Phillies ‘A good ball club, a great Philly cheese steak’ at Pat’s King of Steaks or Genos. They’re both good!”
A struggling Zack Wheeler looks at his catcher, gets the Burma Shave Sign and goes into his wind-up. Wind up sponsored by Dr. Bob’s Rotator Cuff Clinics.
The GlaxoSmithKline pitch…. He swings and connects. It’s an infield 2 hopper brought to you by ‘Hershey’s chocolate Whoppers’®. Bryce Harper scoops it up and throws to first, and the chopper becomes a Harper whopper stopper and his scooping was brought to you by Frito Lay Scoops® Corn Chips.”
It’s close; but the call by the umpire; safe at first! The first base umpire’s call brought to you by Johnson & Johnson’s ACUVUE Brand Contact Lenses, feels almost like you’re wearing no lens at all, which is what Phillies coach Rob Thomson screams as he jumps up out of the dugout. Dugout sponsored by Jim’s Trenching and Roto Rooter Service.
As Thomson charges out onto the field, the all -new Dodge Charger for 2024 offers more value and style than ever before. See your local authorized dealer.
And now both benches are standing up on the dugout steps ready to spill onto field, and we’re happy that Bounty, the Quicker Picker Upper can handle just about any spill you may have. OK, tempers seemed to have really flared up between Coach Thomson and the first base umpire. He’s kicking up a little dirt there…. I guess it’s time to see the folks at the Mel Gibson Anger Management Clinic located just off 12th Street and the State Road 112 On-ramp. It has descended into utter chaos on the field and as both teams argue back and forth let me remind you to vote in this coming election.
No one is cheering because most spectators in the stands had the urge to leave their seats and purchase something.
This article has been brought to you by The Writers Bloc of America, ‘Helping America smile one story at a time!’.
