Major League Baseball players were involved in a labor dispute and the start of the new season was in doubt. It has been settled so the season started on time. How can we prevent this from ever happening again? When there’s a chance to make more money, everything is on the table. If we add a little more commercial promotion to the games, money will flow. Let’s listen to the announcing at a possible future Florida Marlin’s game.
(Stadium announcer) “Welcome back from the Florida Marlin’s Bongo’s Cuban café General Mills Master-card worldwide 7th inning stretch at Loandepot Park on Giancarlo Blvd as it crosses Stanton way. Your 7th Inning stretch sponsored by Bob’s Yoga Academy and the ‘Medicare Friendly’ doctors at the Johnson Stretch-MarkCclinic.
It’s the bottom of the United Parcel Service 8th inning and while we wait for Miguel ‘rip a big one’ Rojas to come to the plate, we want to remind you that his walk to the plate is brought to you by Nike. Shop Nike for all your sports gear. Rojas grabs the ExxonMobil rosin bag and he steps up to the plate; takes a couple of Tyson foods cuts with his Louisville Slugger and gets a good look at the pitcher. That first look is brought to you by Sunglass Hut, ‘Go polarized!’ As he spits on the ground the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reminds you to, please, cough into your sleeve or a handkerchief.
This week, the Marlins should have been playing the Philadelphia Phillies ‘A good ball club, a great Philly cheese steak’ at Dallesandro’s Steaks and Hoagies.
A struggling Josh Johnson looks at his catcher, gets the Burma Shave Sign and goes into his wind-up. The GlaxoSmithKline pitch…. He swings and connects. It’s an infield 2 hopper brought to you by ‘Hershey’s chocolate Whoppers’. Jazz Chisolm scoops it up and throws to first. That scooping brought to you by Frito Lay Scoops corn chips.” Its close; but the call by the umpire, safe at first! The first base umpire today brought to you by Johnson & Johnson’s ACUVUE Brand Contact Lenses, feels almost like you’re wearing no lens at all, which is what Phillie’s coach Joe Girardi screams as he jumps up out of the dugout. Dugout sponsored by Boston’s ‘Big Dig’. As Girardi charges out onto the field let me remind you that the all-new Dodge Charger for 2022 offers more value and style than ever before. See your local authorized dealer.
And now both benches are standing up and on the dugout steps ready to spill onto field and Bounty, the quicker picker upper handles just about any spill you may have. OK, tempers seemed to have really flared up between Coach Girardi and the first base umpire. He’s kicking up a little dirt there…. I guess it’s time to see the folks at the Hulk Hogan Anger Management Clinic between Waldo Avenue and Parkway Exit 12. It has descended into utter chaos on the field and as both teams argue back and forth let me remind you to vote this coming election day.
No one’s cheering because 99% of the people in the stands had the urge to leave their seats and purchase something. I wonder why?
We’re not even safe watching television in our own homes. Product placement is a game to insert products in the scene, so they seem ‘naturally placed’. To make matters worse, cable channels are placing promos for upcoming shows across the bottom of the screen of the show you’re watching. The annoying little animated figures or message pops in like the big distraction it is. Let some enterprising inventors develop a blocking device for that and the world will beat a path to their door although that path would probably be composed of sponsored and engraved bricks.